How to identify top and bottom in gay relationships

It can be hard to figure out the types of tops that are out there, whether you identify as one or whether you're looking for one of your own.

If you're curious to find your topping personality, then don't worry: We've got you covered.

Here are 15 tops that we've run across in the wild, from gentle to aggressive (and everything in between).

1. The Straight/Closeted Top

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There's no shade here, but a lot of tops out there are either straight or still in the closet. There isn't anything wrong with that, but those on the hunt for something more should remain aware of these.

2. The Curious Top

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Much like the straight top, the curious top includes bottoms who are curious about topping for the first time. Believe it or not, there's a lot of men who don't particularly like penetration in the first place, so they could easily fall into this category, as well.

It's his very first time being a top. It's very cute, even if he's not good at it. Time for you to take him from a starter to a pro, huh?

4. The Classy Top

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The Classy Top dresses freshly, hangs out at up-scale restaurants, and always offers to cover the bill, without question. Out of your league? Very. Good at topping? Extremely.

5. The Cool Top

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If cool took top form, it would be him. He dresses well, has a killer job, and knows how to sweet talk like no other.

6. The Vocal Top

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This has nothing to do with the words that come out of his mouth, but everything about when he chooses to speak. The Vocal Top is just that — very vocal during sex. He’s not quiet and focused, he’s telling you precisely what’s working and what’s not, and you’ll know exactly when he’s finished.

7. The Gentle Top

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His job is to take care of you and protect you, including making you feel amazing in bed. He's a keeper, and pretty gorgeous to boot.

8. The Aggressive Top

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On the other hand, there's the Aggressive Top. His job is to be rough, and sometimes, that's just perfect. He can be fun at times, just make sure to communicate with each other if you're feeling comfortable (or want him to go faster).

9. The Kinky Top

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This top will take you to new and exciting worlds of rope, handcuffs, spankings, and sex toys. Ready to get tied up?

10. The Daddy Top

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Who doesn't like an older top? Experienced, rugged, and at least ten years older than you... it's definitely hot. Grab one if you can.

11. The Soft Top

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There's the Gentle Top, and then there's the soft top. Everything about him is femme, he's the twink among twinks. Very cute, especially when he gets down to business.

12. The Rugged Top

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These are the mountain men, the lumberjacks, the hairy men, the bulky bears. He’s a real man’s man, and you’re likely to feel very safe and protected in his arms. Unlike the Daddy, the Rugged Top can come into his own as soon as he sees some chest or facial hair.

13. The Romantic Top

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For him, topping is a romantic experience, one of love and tender care for his bottom. Doesn't hurt that he's cute! Can be gentle or rough, but probably a mix between the two.

14. The King Top

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King of the Tops. He knows where to put his hands and how, he knows when to go faster or slow down, and he never stops until both of you are finished. He's a dream, and you're lucky if he's yours.

15. The Smooth-Talking Top

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He knows just what to say before, during, and after sex. Similar to the Romantic Top, he’ll make you swoon with his words and shower you with his affection to let you know just what it is about you he’s interested in.

What are the traits of a top or bottom?

Tops, bottoms, and verses (or, "switches") are terms that refer to sexual preferences within the queer community. Tops generally like to be the more dominant person during sex, while bottoms follow their lead. Verses generally like to switch between sexual positions of power with their partners.

What is the difference between top and bottom?

In both contexts, the terms top and bottom refer to active and passive roles, not to who is physically on top in a particular sexual act. The older term "versatile" is sometimes used instead of "switch."